


Chrashland

by Cail_Jei



Series: Whumptober [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Desert, Gen, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Statesman, Whumptober 2020, heatstroke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:41:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26956744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cail_Jei/pseuds/Cail_Jei
Summary: The food supply on the Statesman is running out. It's up to Thor and Loki to fix the problem.
Relationships: Loki & Thor (Marvel)
Series: Whumptober [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1955857
Comments: 14
Kudos: 85





	1. Crash

**Author's Note:**

> This is for No.14 Is Something Burning?  
> Although all the whump will be on the 2nd chapter.  
> Hope you enjoy!

Days were always busy on the Statesman. It goes without saying, but in a ship full of exhausted refugees problems tend to arise quickly. Acute shortages of water, food and accommodation are liable to occur, and should be immediately dealt with. Loki wrapped his head around this grim reality, as he read for the third time the supply manifest, hoping he could find a mistake in the calculations regarding the food supplies. Unfortunately, despite his repeated attempts, he could find nothing wrong with them. Thankfully, they had plenty of water and the accommodations, although crammed were sufficient. On the other hand, they were going to run out of food in a matter of days. Whoever had last checked these reports had made a critical error, making them think they had more time to resupply than they actually had. He should alert Thor and the council, so a suitable solution could be found.

The only problem was that he was kind of avoiding Thor. After all this time, everything that was said and done, Loki didn’t know how to interact with his brother anymore. He had the suspicion that Thor didn’t know how to act around him either, and that this avoidance was not only on his part. That wasn’t at all surprising. They both had changed so much since the days they shared an easy camaraderie. They may be sharing a room for convenience’s shake, but that didn’t mean that everything was fine between them. There was nothing worse than extending an olive branch only to have it be rejected. For that reason Loki had limited his interactions with Thor on the bare minimum, which mostly included whatever communication was necessary for the workings of the state. Nonetheless, Loki still had to inform him of this urgent matter. 

It was early night (or at least the time of the day that most of the Statesman’s lights were closed in order to conserve energy and accommodate the circadian clocks of its passengers) so Loki went to their quarters and awaited for his brother return. The door opened. Usually by the time his brother entered, he would have already fallen asleep, or in the case he hadn’t managed that yet, he would pretend to be in a deep slumber anyway. Although in the past he didn’t used to sleep that early, his desire to avoid Thor and the exhaustion of the heavy daily routine caused his sleep schedule to change from sleep late rise early to sleep early and rise even earlier. It wasn’t bad to be honest, it gave him more time to accomplish tasks in the peaceful interim before other people have awoken. 

And so, this time he didn’t bother hiding the fact that he was wide awake. If Thor was surprised to see him as such, he didn’t show it.

“Hello, brother.” Loki deadpanned.

“Loki. You are not asleep.” He stated, uncertainly.

Loki resisted the urge to comment on the obviousness of the statement and decided to cut to the chase. “Well, I have to talk to you about a matter of great importance.”

“What is it?” Thor said almost hesitantly, perhaps somehow sensing it was bad news. 

“Earlier, while I was checking the supply manifest, I noticed an error in the previous calculations. Apparently, we have about a week or so worth of food in our storage. A week and a half if we ration it carefully.”

Thor swore loudly. “I didn’t imagine we’d need to venture out for supplies so quickly.” He brought his hands on his face and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms, growling in frustration.

Loki rolled his eyes at this dramatic display of sentiment and continued. “We need to find a planet inhabited by a relatively hospitable civilisation, willing to trade with us.”

“Easier said than done.” observed Thor.

“Tonight, I shall search through the galactic maps, to find the best possible options and present them on the emergency council meeting, that I’m assuming will take place tomorrow. ” _That way the conversation ends here._

Thor looked at him weirdly. “It’s already late. Wouldn’t it be better to look at the maps tomorrow morning, with a fresh mind? ”

“Do you believe I am not up to the task?” he replied testily. 

“No!” Thor thundered. Loki felt a thrill surging through him at having provoked Thor’s anger. It was often said that the opposite of love is hatred, but from personal experience, Loki knew that to be untrue. The true opposite of love was indifference. Thor’s ire was proof that he at least felt something, however miniscule it might be. It was so unlike the dispassionate way he had treated Loki on the elevator, and afterwards, when he had tricked him and willingly abandoned him with a obedience disc embedded in his skin. Granted, perhaps he deserved it after everything he’s done, but still it hurt.

Thor took a deep breath, clearly trying to rein in his temper. Then he lowered his voice. “No, that is not what I meant-” 

“Good!” he said in a false, overly cheerful voice. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take my leave.” Loki abruptly turned his back on Thor and exited the room. He wished he could slam the door as well, but the doors on Statesman were electronic, and could not be slammed, no matter how appropriate for the situation.

* * *

  
In the end, Loki stayed up late into the night, studying the galactic map. At first, he considered all the planets that were within a radius of ten parsec and could be reasonably reached in a few days. Then he began the slow process of eliminating the outright hostile or primitive - at least the ones that the civilisations inhabiting them were at a point that could barely sustain themselves with their archaic agricultural technology - planets. Eventually, even though he tried to use flexible criteria, he was left with only one possibility; a planet called Cylon. It was an arid planet covered in deserts, but despite its predicament, the civilisation living on its harsh climate had managed to fend well for itself. Loki was not overly fond of deserts, but otherwise this planet was ideal. 

He finished reviewing the various possibilities during the early morning hours. Instead of sneaking back into his room and risking waking Thor up, Loki sought solace in his books. At this hour the corridors and main halls of the ship were empty. Unfortunately all the aforementioned places tended to have rather large windows. And as much as he didn’t want to admit it, even -or especially so- to himself, the mere thought of the void, much less the sight of it, filled him with dread, unearthing memories he would rather keep buried. For that reason he retreated to the storage room, finding a peaceful and quiet (if somewhat dark, but that was nothing a magelight couldn’t solve) corner and summoned a book from his interdimensional pocket to read. It was a book from the Allfather’s private collection, the ones that he was never allowed to touch as a youth (but he still used to pine for). In retrospect he could see why. Many of them made allusions to the dark arts or touched subjects that could be considered black magic. However, the book he was reading now focused on the much more innocent topic of enchantments on objects. The writing was elegant and comprehensive and soon he was completely engrossed by the book. He was so absorbed, that he missed the bell’s ringing, signalling that breakfast was being served in the cafeteria of the ship. At some point his eyelids began to droop. It was then that he glanced at the clock and realised that time had flown by much faster than he’d prefer. Although he didn’t manage to make it to the cafeteria in time to be served his ration, he - thankfully - made it in time to the council meeting. Before he entered the room, he swiftly casted a glamour, to hide the dark circles underneath his eyes.

When he came in, Thor regarded him with an unreadable expression.

“Now that we are all present, we can get into the main issue. Loki, what were your findings?” he said in earnest, his solemn expression fit for a king. 

“Well, I searched through the galactic maps and found only one option; a small planet called Cylon. Its distance from us is about two days. We could use the Commodore to get there, that way the Statesman doesn’t have to use as much fuel and change its course.”

Thor looked at him in a way that could probably be described as fond, but Loki hesitated to name it as such. “You did a great job, brother. The Commodore requires a two man crew to operate. I was thinking that we could be the ones to go.” he said looking Loki straight in the eye. “You are the one with the most experience in bargaining and I could learn some things by observing you.” Loki made to interrupt with an excuse at the tip of his tongue, knowing well that this many compliments could not bode well for him, but Thor continued over him. “Besides, Heimdall and Valkyrie will stay behind and watch our people.”

“Sounds good to me.” said Valkyrie.

“It is fine by me as well.” agreed Heimdall.

_They must have agree all beforehand, otherwise someone must have raised an objection to this. Even now I’m an outsider_ , he thought bitterly. He spared a moment to consider if perhaps he was being paranoid and then he nodded his agreement to Thor. He didn’t have much of a choice after all. 

* * *

  
They didn’t waste any time. The Commodore was loaded with cargo and they departed in the afternoon of the same day. Thor had entered the spaceship first, and had consequently taken the pilot’s seat. He stared Loki with a defiant look, like he was challenging him to say something. 

Already knowing it was a bait, Loki didn’t fail to rise to it. He huffed, “Are you certain you want to do that? Last time you nearly demolished half of Asgard in your perilous attempt at escape.”

“There aren’t any buildings in space, if you failed to notice.”

“But there will be on the planet we are heading in.”

That got a surprised laugh out of Thor. Loki had to bite his lip in a vain attempt to hide the twitch that betrayed his supressed smile. 

Against his will, he began relaxing a bit. _This isn’t half as bad as I expected it to be._ They started their trip in companionable silence. They exchanged seats every few hours, so the other could take some rest from the responsibility of setting the course of the ship. Every now and then they bickered and jabbed at each other, but it never escalated into a bitter argument. Instead it just felt... _brotherly_. In the long stretches of silence between them, and when he was not at the pilot’s seat, Loki read. Curiously, Thor inquired about the book he was reading, something truly rare in the previous centuries and seemed to even listen to the answer, although it couldn’t be that interesting for him. All in all it almost felt like they were brothers again.

* * *

  
The problem began once they entered the atmosphere. In hindsight there could be many causes for what happened. Perhaps the wiring was aged and worn, or the passage through the wormhole (the Devil’s Anus as it was humorously called) had caused some damage on the Commodore that their superficial safety checks had missed. But in the end, whatever it was it had the same result. When Loki tried to reduce the speed of the spaceship, the controls didn’t respond. He tried, at first calmly and then increasingly frantic with anxiety, pressing other buttons but the control panel seemed dead. 

Loki cursed under his breath. He turned to Thor only to find him sleeping peacefully on his seat. He shook him, stronger than he intended. “Thor, we have a problem.”

Thor stirred, grumbling something akin to “Are we there, yet?”

“There’s something wrong. The spaceship doesn’t respond!”

Thor shot up. “What?” he nearly yelled.

Loki shifted his focus momentarily away from the control panel and towards the window, only to see the putrid red surface of Cylon speeding towards them. He turned his gaze back on the controls. The only thing that seemed to be working properly was the speedometer, which showed a rapid increase in their speed, as the potential energy of the ship transformed to kinetic. “Thor, we need to change course immediately! Perhaps there’s something wrong with the engine, I’m going to check, you stay here and try to restart the controls-” he made to open his seatbelt but before he could manage, strong hands caught his arms.

“Loki, were going to crash in a minute, maybe less. If you are at the engine room when that happens, you are going to die. If we stay on our seats with the seatbelts on we have a better chance.”

Loki looked through the window again and this time he could distinguish the details on the ground, see the mountain ranges, the deserts and the sparse rivers. They were indeed close, and getting closer by the second. But it was the anxiety in Thor’s voice that finally convinced him to stay put. “Fine”, he breathed and let go of the belt.

The adrenaline stretched the few seconds of the fall, making them feel like minutes. Loki longed to do something, anything that would put them out of harm’s way. Loki wished he could teleport he and Thor on the ground, but that couldn’t happen unless he knew where he was teleporting to. Their continuous attempts to restart the control panel failed, so they gradually lessened them, eventually stopping them all together. The ground came up to meet them, there was a loud noise and then everything went black.


	2. Desert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel the need to apologise for the completely unispired titles.
> 
> But nonetheless, I hope you enjoy!

Loki groaned. He could feel a dull ache spreading through his body, becoming sharp on specific areas, presumably where flesh wounds were located. The air was heavy with fumes, their scent strong and acidic. He coughed weakly, the smoke filling his lungs, making breathing feel like a chore. He could hear the crackling sound of fire burning somewhere near him. The heat was excruciating. All of that made the alarm bells in his head ring sluggishly, forcing him to open his eyes despite the heaviness of his eyelids. He was still on his seat with his seatbelt on. The memories rushed back in his mind. _Thor, I need to find Thor_. He turned his head around too quickly and the world spun. Closing his eyes Loki tried combat the nausea, swallowing down bile. When he dragged them open, he found Thor sitting on the seat next to him, face first to the control panel. Loki opened the seatbelt and carefully stood up on wobbly legs. He kept a hand at the panel to steady himself and staggered his way to Thor. After some struggle, he managed to extricate Thor from his seat and with difficulty dragged him outside the wreck. 

As expected for a planet full of deserts, they seemed to have landed in the middle of one. The sun was scorching hot and the sand was unpleasantly warm. He kneeled beside his brother, and proceeded to prod at Thor checking him for injury. He cursed when he discovered that his brother had acquired a nasty head trauma. 

Loki would never admit to it, but healing magic was not his strong suit. When he was a youth, and still concerned about the whispers surrounding him in regards to his occupation with the womanly art of seidr, he didn’t want to add fuel to the flames by learning healing magic on top of seidr that could be used in battle. So now, he was unable to use a targeted spell to knit this specific injury of Thor’s. Instead he had to syphon his seidr straight into him, using raw force to substitute for his lack of precision.

He didn’t stop until Thor begun to stir. “Loki… What happened?”

“We crashed…” he trailed off. He wasn’t feeling terribly well. His train of thought seemed to have been derailed. Something warm was tickling from his nose and his limps felt heavy. Perhaps he used more seidr than he had to expend. 

“Loki?” Thor’s voice sounded distant.

He tried to speak, but his tongue was uncoordinated and unwieldy. The edges of his vision were slowly filling with black spots. He felt himself pitch forward, but he didn’t have the strength to stop himself. Thor caught him, as the darkness swallowed him whole.

* * *

  
Loki floated slowly into consciousness. As he became more aware of himself he realised he was laying on his side, on the rough sand. His face though was resting on something soft, that carried a smell of ozone, that was long associated with home. With effort, he prized his eyes open, wishing he could give in and drift into the peaceful darkness once again. The first thing he noticed was that his head was placed on top of Thor’s folded cape. The second thing was that he was relatively cool, which meant that he wasn’t beneath the awfully hot sun anymore. Instead he was under some sort of shade, presumably the one caused by the wreck of the spaceship. He found Thor sitting next to him, gazing far away seemingly in deep thought, obviously unaware of Loki’s wakefulness. Loki looked around. The light from the sun was far less bright than earlier, and judging by the long shadows cast by the wreck he would say that it was late afternoon. The temperature was significantly lower as well which seemed to confirm his suspicion. 

With shaking hands he pushed himself up and tried to reach for his seidr. The only thing he felt though was a void and he shuddered with the realisation that he nearly drained himself dry. He must have made some sort of a sound, because when he turned to Thor he found him staring at him with relief plainly written on every line of his face.

“Loki, you are awake!”

“It would appear that is the case.” Loki could feel himself trembling with the strain of holding himself upright. It’s been centuries since the last time he overtaxed his seidr, and he was unused to the consequences. 

“You should lay back, brother. Don’t exert yourself. You did enough of that already.” 

Loki opened his mouth to protest, but before he managed to say anything, Thor had already moved beside him and pushed him gently to the ground. 

“Besides, you need to keep your strength up. We have a lot of walking to do before we are anywhere near civilisation.” Thor said. 

“How can you possibly know that?” 

“After the fire went out, I ventured into the Commodore to see if I could salvage anything. Thank the Norns I found the maps that we had brought with us.” 

“That is good.” His eyes drooped closed. He desperately wanted to rest. It would take a while before he fully recovered from the magical overexertion.

He heard Thor shifting next to him. A warm hand came to rest on Loki’s neck. “You worried me greatly, brother.” Thor said in earnest.

Loki felt a pang going off in his chest. He did his best to ignore it. “Do not worry about me, Thor. I know my limits.”

A sort pause served as the messenger of Thor’s disbelief on the matter. “I am not afraid that you don’t know your limits. I am afraid you are unwilling to heed them.” 

Loki felt a strong undercurrent of resentment rolling over him, dragging him beneath its surface. At first he attempted to resist it but then he just surrendered to it. “You think me incapable of-” 

“I don’t consider you incapable of anything. I only worry because time and time again you have shown yourself to be reckless in regards to your physical integrity.” Thor said over him, his voice heated. 

Annoyance and something else he refused to name surged through him, but still Loki didn’t have the energy to continue arguing for a lot longer. So, he did not dignify that with an answer. Instead, he shook off Thor’s hand and turned his back on Thor, laying on his side. 

He heard Thor sigh. “Rest for a little while. I will wake you just before the dawn, so we can get going.”

* * *

  
In deserts in Midgard temperature tends to follow a strict circular path between extremes during the cycle of day and night. It seemed that so far Cylon was not any different in that respect. 

Loki woke up in the middle of the night. At first his sleep addled mind did not comprehend what was wrong. Then he realised that he was shivering. He was so very cold. The sound of clattering teeth behind him caused him to pause. “Thor?” he said, his voice muffled in the fabric of Thor’s cloak. 

“Brother? Are you awake?” he heard Thor’s voice shake and frowned. 

“Are you cold? ” Thor did not immediately answer, and so Loki continued “Come close.”

Thor obeyed. They ended up huddling together underneath Thor’s cape to keep warm. Loki, still exhausted, quickly fell asleep, his head on Thor’s shoulder. 

* * *

He woke up by a hand shaking him as gently as possible. The darkness was giving way to light, red and orange hues painting the horizon. They navigated, setting their course with the help of the map, seeking the nearest settlement, which was named Kuru. Soon the weird bluish sun of Cylon rose in the sky, climbing steadily towards its peak. The temperature rose with it. 

The cold of the night might have been a pain, but, as it soon became clear, the heat of the day would prove to be a greater challenge by far. 

The first symptom Loki noticed was the headache. It started out mild but as the hours passed, he could feel the pounding on his head growing stronger. Then his head began to spin. A suspicion formed in his mind. A heatstroke was not a far-fetched possibility. He always had a difficulty dealing with the heat. When he was younger, he didn’t know what to make of this peculiar weakness, which only served as a reminded that he was not as strong as his brother. But now he knew better, didn’t he? The monster beneath his skin was most probably culpable for his misery. _Ha. Wasn’t it always?_

He staggered onward, trying to quell the light-headiness and the nausea that had just begun to make itself known. His heartbeat was fast, much faster than it should be. He could see the exposed parts of his skin, namely the back of his hands, turning red and he didn’t need a mirror to know that his face and neck were flushed. At some point he realised that his skin was dry as sandpaper, which meant that he had stopped sweating. Thor constantly gave him distressed glances, which he poorly attempted to disguise. He must have noticed something was off.

Suddenly his unsteady tottering came to a halt as Thor stopped abruptly in front of him. He turned around, facing Loki, concern carved in every feature of his face. 

“Perhaps we should take a break. I begin to tire.” Thor said.

“Don’t patronize me, _brother_. I know you are just fine.” said Loki, though instead of angry he just sounded tired. 

His brother winced. “I meant no insult.” Loki heard himself snort. “Truly!” Thor insisted. “But you really do look awful. We should take a short break-” 

“No.” said Loki over him in a tone that did not allow for any argument. “I want to leave this place as soon as possible.” 

He heard Thor sigh. “Alright. But should you worsen I will carry you. ” this was plainly meant as a threat, and Loki intended to treat it as such. 

They made it almost five miles before they had to pause again. This time it was Loki who stopped in his tracks, bending over and spewing bile on the hot sand. He had hoped that he would feel better afterwards, but the nausea still persisted.

Something hid the sun, and he looked up only to realise that Thor had drawn near, in his face the implacable look of worry that has been painted there for the last few hours. He laid a firm hand on Loki’s forehead and dazed as Loki was, he let him.

“You are feverish.”

Loki swallowed with difficulty. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t suspected it, but that didn’t change the fact, that this was an ill omen. He didn’t know how many hours a day lasted on Cylon, but its blue sun only seemed to climb higher and higher, like it would forever chase its zenith. Even in his muddled state of mind, with a headache throbbing painfully and dizziness along with confusion seeping into his awareness, he knew that he couldn’t go on much longer. _I will die here_ , he thought, his delirious thinking undercut by a sudden horrifying clarity. His gaze met Thor’s. _And he is going to have to watch me die, again._

His breath had become shallow and rapid without him noticing. “Will you help me up?” Loki asked, voice hoarse.

“Loki...” Thor said, voice raw, his expression turning pained. “Perhaps it would be better for me to carry you.”

“As long as I can stand, I will walk.”

“Fine.” he said, resigned. “But lean on me for support.”

Thor crouched down and looped his arm around Loki’s middle, while pulling Loki’s arm around his shoulders. Then slowly they stood up and continued walking (or in Loki’s case stumbling) along the way. Loki found himself leaning in Thor for support more and more as the time progressed. They could have been walking for hours or mere minutes, when the world tilted sideways and his knees buckled. Only Thor kept him from hitting the ground, lowering him on it gently instead. Still the edges of his vision darkened. Thor’s worried face hovered above him and he felt a cool hand cupping his cheek. The last thing he heard as his eyes dragged closed was Thor calling his name.

* * *

  
Loki slowly regained his senses. The heat was still more than he could bear, but the temperature was lower than before. A light breeze was caressing his reddened, irate skin, soothing somewhat the burning sensation. Loki opened his eyes to slits, since he felt he lacked the strength for anything more straining. At once it became clear that there was no real wind; for he was just being carried in Thor’s arms like some sort of invalid. His pride sluggishly flared up and had he had any power left in his body, he would have attempted to convince Thor to let him down. As it was, he could only make a pathetic whimper when Thor changed his hold and accidentally brushed his hand against the oversensitive skin of his neck.

“Loki?” Thor said, his voice strained. 

“What?” he murmured.

He felt Thor lurching to a halt and lowering him down on the sandy soil. He immediately felt the temperature decrease and he prized his eyes open to see that he was laying in the shadow of a sand dune, with Thor’s blurry face hovering over him, looking exceptionally upset. He disliked seeing him so, even if a small part of him revelled in the knowledge that Thor did indeed care to some extend. He was distracted from his thoughts by a colder than expected hand resting on the nape of his neck.

He heard his brother swear. “You are burning up! ” Thor said.

Not knowing what else to do, Loki nodded. Thor shook him and only then did he realised that his eyes had closed again. 

“Loki”, at the sound of his name, his eyes fluttered open. “Can you reach your magic?”

He tried to pull seidr from his well of power, finding it empty. The lack of its comforting presence disturbed him deeply. Distressed, he shook his head, already feeling exhausted from the effort he was putting in those simple actions. He turned his eyes to the sky, only to find the strange sun had finally began to descend towards the horizon. He felt his eyes drag close. 

“Rest, brother, rest. You sorely need it.” Thor’s voice said trembling slightly near the end. A cool hand gripped his own tightly, almost painfully. Then it let go, and he felt hands on his body, unfastening the clasps that kept his clothes together. He drifted off. 

* * *

  
Loki woke up. He could feel cool air against his blistered skin. All of his skin. He was nearly naked, laying flat on his back, not on the coarse sand but on something soft. If anything, the cold air that had been a difficulty during their first night, was now a relief. When Loki opened his eyes, his gaze was immediately drawn on the night sky, full of unfamiliar constellations and foreign stars. For a moment, memories from the Void returned, the darkness of it, the silence, the sense of weightlessness, the terrors that lurked hidden in its depths, like coiled snakes, ready to strike their unsuspecting prey. Loki’s breaths became even shallower than before, speeding up. His heart was pounding almost painfully in his chest.

Something, probably the sound of his laboured unsteady breathing, must have roused Thor from his slumber, because the next thing he knew, Thor’s hand was on his head, calloused fingers running through his hair tenderly.

“Shh. It’s alright. Take deep breaths.”

The gentleness of Thor’s voice coursed through him, and along with the soothing sensation of his fingers, Loki felt himself going limp, his muscles releasing the tension that he hadn’t even realised they’ve been holding. Obeying, he gasped air in and tried to hold it for a few seconds. Soon, his breathing slowed, evening out. As he came back to reality, Loki felt his cheeks heat in embarrassment. Thankfully, Thor would be unable to see it in the dark. 

“I am sorry to have woke you up.” Loki croaked. He was absolutely parched, which was to be expected, given that he couldn’t even remember the last time he drank water, and he was in the middle of the desert. 

“Don’t worry about it. ”A brief pause followed. “It has been centuries since the last time you had night terrors such as this.”

_Ah_. So he thought this was a nightmare. Was that worse or better than him knowing that Loki was simply terrified by darkness and a few stars? It was nothing sort of a miracle that an _attack_ like this hadn’t happened while he was in the Statesman or the Commodore, surrounded by actual space.

“In recent years they have… come back with a vengeance.” he answered, which was in fact true. In only a matter of a few years, a miniscule amount of time compared to the rest of his life, he had been through enough, he has seen enough to serve as fodder for night terrors far worse than anything he had experienced before. _Their worst quality by far though, is that they are not just images conjured up by my brain, they are real, tangible things of this world, things I cannot outwit, run or hide from; and certainly not fight; and soon enough the literal stuff of nightmares will catch up with me, and when that happens –_

Thor’s hand abandoned his hair, only to land on the nape of his neck. Loki fought not to lean on the surprisingly reassuring and familiar grip. “I thought you might die.” he uttered, the fear in his voice palpable. 

“Well, I am plainly still alive, so clearly there is no need to fret.” Loki almost snapped, his voice a bit more tremulous than it should be. He had livened up a bit, the coolness of the night lending him some of his strength back. Not much, but at least enough to perceive the world more clearly again. 

“At least your temper has returned to its former strength.” Thor answered. He palmed Loki’s forehead. “You are less warm than before. That ought to be a good sign.”

Indeed it was. “How much further must we walk to reach the settlement?”

Thor’s expression was pained. “We have still a long way to go. In the rate we walked today… it will take us four to five days to reach our destination.”

That was not good news. Their people relied on them for food supplies, and he and Thor could not fail them. Time was a valuable resource, one they couldn’t afford wasting by wondering haplessly in a desert of a backwater planet. Besides that, Loki knew he could not last long in the desert; yesterday’s effort took almost everything he had. It would be nigh impossible to cover the same distance walking today as they did the previous day, as they were weakened, especially Loki. A cold rational thought sprung suddenly in his mind; without him slowing him down, Thor had a much higher chance to make it to Kuru in time. Perhaps, were Loki a better person, he would tell Thor to go on without him. His chances of survival were beyond slim as it was, and he knew he was weighing Thor down. But that would mean dying alone, painfully slow, his brain boiling in his own skull. He found that extremely dreadful. But even if he asked that of Thor, he doubted that the sentimental oaf would ever agree to leave him behind, despite everything that had passed between them. He comforted himself with that thought. 

* * *

  
Come morn they began again their arduous journey towards Kuru. This time, Loki was steadying himself on Thor from the beginning. When he first started stumbling again, Thor offered to carry him. Loki lacked the energy to refuse. He allowed himself to be lifted, and helped as he could, by curling his arms around his brother’s shoulders. 

He buried his face in the crook of Thor’s neck, half trying to hide from the vicious sun, half finding comfort in his mere presence. His hands clung to Thor’s cape weakly. Soon after, unconsciousness claimed him.

* * *

  
A persistent buzzing was the first clue that Loki was becoming aware again. The unpleasant heat was the second. Initially, he had no memory of what happened, but soon his mind, searching for an explanation, defaulted to a familiar recollection. Loki thought himself to be at the training fields of Asgard, at the height of the summer, laying supine on the ground after having lost, yet again, to his golden brother. But, as he prised his eyes open he could see only the face of his brother, hovering above him, tinged in a strange, alien blue colour. Thor’s lips moved, but he could not hear the words over the buzzing of his ears. His hand petted back Loki’s hair and it felt blissful, unlike the awful low ache that permeated throughout his entire body. There was no training ring to be seen, nor people watching. In fact, there was nothing but red sand as far as the eye could see. The sun was peculiar, its size and colour all wrong. He attempted to raise a hand to shield his eyes from its blinding light, only to realise that his muscles felt inexplicably weak, his whole being struggled to perform the task. Even if he didn’t understand exactly what was going on, he felt certain that now that his brother was here everything was going to be alright.

As the buzzing noise faded into the background he could make out the words told by Thor.

“Brother, it is alright, it is going to be alright- ” the words had the feel of a mantra, repeated to reassure both the one it was spoken to and the one it was spoken by.

“What…” he croaked, only to stop as a coughing fit shook him. His throat ached for the lack of water and it felt as though the hacking would never stop; when it eventually subsided he asked, “What happened? Where is everyone?”

Thor’s face grew even more concerned than before. “Loki, I don’t know where you think you are… You had some sort of fit-”

_Fit_? He ignored Thor’s next words and closed his eyes as he tried to remember, even though concentrating, even in the slightest, made him aware of his previously forgotten headache. Images flashed in his mind’s eye, of his body writhing and jerking beyond his control, as his head was kept in place by his brother’s hands. He felt worn and exhausted. His lids were too heavy to open, but he attempted to open them anyway. His eyelids fluttered open, then shut. He could feel Thor trying to shake him awake, but he was beyond caring. He surrendered to the darkness, letting the blackness draw him under. A distant part of him wondered if he would ever wake up again. 


	3. Return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!  
> Have you missed me?  
> I know this took a ridiculous amount of time to be finished, but I hope it was worth the wait :-)

Loki could hear voices at the edge of the darkness that engulfed him. They faded in and out of existence, growing strong and then soft, eventually fizzling out, before the cycle repeated itself. He couldn’t concentrate on what they were saying, their words seemed to muddle together, becoming one continuous stream of nonsensical sounds whenever he tried to process them. Worn out by his efforts, he retreated back into the dark.

When he emerged again from the darkness, his lids felt a little less heavy. For the first time in recent memory he didn’t feel absolutely wretched. With difficulty, he opened his eyes just a crack. The otherworldly bluish light of Cylon’s sun immediately assaulted his senses, forcing him to shut his eyes closed again. When he mustered the courage to reopen them, Loki found beside him a blond head, resting on top of folded hands. One of them held Loki’s hand tightly. Thor. He looked away from his brother, in order to take in his surroundings. His arm was connected with a bag that dripped something slowly into his veins. He eyed the liquid suspiciously. His first instinct was to extract the intravenous drip from his arm, but he stopped himself, resisting the temptation. It couldn’t be something dangerous; Thor would not let that happen. Instead, he turned his attention to the room he was in. It was simple, almost spartan, sparsely decorated and minimally furnished, as though it was created with only the absolute essentials in mind. The walls were white, and the whole room seemed sterile. _A hospital most probably._

He deliberated on whether to wake up Thor or not, in the end deciding to do so, if for nothing else then at least for the shake of learning the events that lead them here. Besides, Thor would want to know as soon as possible that he was awake, Loki reasoned. Still, his brother looked rather peaceful in his sleep that he hesitated to wake him from his slumber, especially so when he noticed the black circles under his eyes. _Just for how long have I been here?_ Finally, curiosity and worry overcoming brotherly affection, he shook Thor. He came awake with a start, nearly falling of the chair in the process, and should the circumstances be any different, Loki would have probably laughed. As it was, he merely snorted, prompting Thor’s immediate attention.

“Of course _you_ would find that amusing.” Thor said, tone relieved instead of accusing.

“You have to admit, it kind of is.” Loki responded, teasing, before turning sombre again. “How long have I been here?”

“For about three days, brother.”

Loki paled. The supplies should have been already delivered to the Statesman by now. Without them the Aesir, that had endured so much, would have to go hungry as well.

Thor seemed to sense his dark thoughts and was quick to interrupt them. “If you are worried about the supplies, then don’t be.”

Come to think about it, Thor was way calmer than he should be, given the circumstances. “And why is that?” he asked, apprehensively.

Thor regarded him solemnly. “Because we still have time. I adjusted the rations to three quarters of their previous quantity so we have three to four days to make a deal and return to the Statesman, since we were in the desert for only two and a half days before they found us.”

“They? Who are they? ” Loki inquired. 

“Apparently they have rescue workers here as they do on Midgard.”

“Ah. That is good.”

“Of course it is. If they had not found us when they did, you would have most certainly died and probably so would I.” Thor’s voice was steady but in his blue eye there was something anguished. His grip on Loki’s thin appendage tightened. Perhaps Loki had taken too much to heart their conversation on the elevator, at least the parts in it that felt like abandonment, and failed to notice that Thor still cared. And besides that Loki’s heart did something weird in his chest at the thought of Thor dying. That in turn made Loki want to focus on the practicalities of their situation.

“Was anything aboard the Commodore salvageable?”

“Thankfully some of the commodities survived the crash. And the resulting fire. The ship and the rest can only be sold for scraps.”

“From what I recall Cylon is a planet poor in metal. Perhaps the scrap metal could be sold in a high enough price to buy a spaceship made of some other material. Or at least buy us a ride to the Statesman.” He stifled a yawn. 

“Perhaps. For now you must rest. Once you regain your strength, you can help with the negotiations.”

Loki fell asleep with Thor still holding on his hand.

* * *

  
Loki remained bedridden for the next day or so. Throughout this entire time he continually pestered Thor to let him join the dealings. At first Thor outright refused, citing as the reason for his refusal Loki’s need for rest in order to recover, but he eventually caved in allowing him to participate in the discussions.

And participate Loki did. He cast a glamour over himself to appear more hale and prepared to accompany Thor to the market place, where the merchants were located. Truth be told he hadn’t seen neither hide nor hair from the natives of Cylon while he was in the hospital room, even though the healers seemed to visit when he was asleep. So the first encounter with them was a bit of shock, one that even Thor’s comments about their peculiar physicality could not prepare him for. Although they were still vaguely humanoid, that’s where the similarities with almost any race in the Nine Realms end. They were rather tall, often surpassing him and Thor in height and large. They had five eyes in their head, with colours ranging from violet to yellow, no ears, too much hair and their skin was ashen grey hanging loosely around their body like those dreadful jumpers midgardians like to wear. The clothes they seem to favour on Cylon would be considered indecent in most other places and the perfumes they wore were heavy and musty. Or was that their natural scent? Loki tried not to stare too much, despite the curiosity consuming his mind.  
  
The heat of the noon was stifling, especially so for Loki, so it was good that the trip to the merchants was a short one. Selling the undamaged commodities was not an issue. Thor’s diplomatic skills were much improved since the last time Loki had seen them in action. Of course that was a long time ago and Thor had changed a lot since then. On the other hand the metal scraps were more difficult to find a buyer for. Those dealings required a bit of a more delicate touch. Thankfully Loki had that covered with his silver tongue. 

Between the two of them, they had managed to sell almost everything. They ended up retreating for rest early, something for which Loki was very grateful since he still got tired too easily. They stayed at a local inn, and feasted at a nearby tavern. Loki did not try any of the local delicacies, less so because he was not curious and more because he still felt faintly nauseous. He instead ordered a fairly commonplace meal, consisting of some sort of roasted meat and grilled vegetables without any kind of sauce. He mostly picked at his food, without any real appetite. Thor on the other hand ate like a bilgesnipe. 

Thank the Norns, Thor must have noticed him being relatively unwell, because he waved the waiter over and paid as soon as he finished his meal. They retired in their room almost immediately, even though Loki was certain his brother would have much preferred to explore Kuru. Loki could understand the urge. If he were more hale he would certainly find the fresh air a most welcome change from the artificial environment of the Statesman. And then there was the lure of the unknown, wandering through a city that you have never walked through before, free from any responsibility for a little while.

“How are you feeling?” Thor asked as soon as the door shut behind them, setting his hand on Loki’s shoulder, in a brotherly gesture that Loki had missed more than he would ever confess.

“I’ve been better. But, in the very recent past, I’ve also been way worse.”

“Why must you always answer in riddles, brother?” Thor asked, expression fond.

“You know me, that is my way.” Loki turned to face him. “You know you can go take a walk if you’d like. I am not going anywhere.” The last sentence was spoken in a light, playful tone.

However, Thor did not seem to take it as such. “That is not what I worry about. You may be better, but you are not well still. I wouldn’t want to leave you behind while you are unwell just so I can entertain myself for a few hours.”

Loki’s eyes flickered across the room. “I’ll truly be fine alone for a few hours.”

“Probably. But, in any case, I want to be here to make that sure.” He gave Loki what he assumed was supposed to be a reassuring smile, but Loki did not fail to recognise the spark of fear hidden deep in his one blue eye. The memory of what had almost happened must have been still fresh in Thor’s mind. If Loki were to be honest with himself -something he often avoided- he’d have to admit that he this _experience_ was still raw for him as well. 

“Do as you will.” He ended up saying, but he could not repress the feeling of gratefulness that surged through him when Thor just locked the door and went to take a shower.

Loki turned off the lights on the main room. His exhaustion was evident by the fact that he was nearly lulled to sleep by the sound of the running water, despite the light that came from the bathroom. Lost in the weird place between sleep and wakefulness, it was impossible to tell if the kiss on his temple and the muffled “I love you” that he heard was real or merely a product of his imagination. 

* * *

Loki woke up from the sunlight streaming through the window and straight into his face. His first reaction was to turn to his other side and curl up under the covers. It must be early in the morning, he reasoned, for it to still be so cold. His sleep after that was littered with muddled nightmares, that he was unable to recall beyond vague impressions or the strong feelings that they evoked. He slept and woke and slept again. In between dreams he was unsure of where he was for the most part; the void, Statesman, Asgard, Midgard and at last Sanctuary. He forced himself to get of the bed and shower in order to shake of the sleepiness after that. 

When Loki got out of the bathroom, he found Thor was awake and had in fact already dress up. “Let’s head down for breakfast, brother.” Thor said, beaming at him.

They ate at the same tavern as the night before. This time, Loki felt good enough to try a more exotic breakfast, that was consisted of some sort of something akin to sweet-bread accompanied by some sort of syrup. It was delightful, after a day of plain hospital meals and a few days of no food at all. 

Thor looked up from his plate, just in time to see Loki pouring even more syrup to his already smothered sweet-bread. “You know, in Midgard, they have a name for people like you.”

“Oh, they do now?”

“They would say you have a sweet tooth.”

Loki scoffed. “That sounds ridiculous.”

Thor’s delighted expression at having gotten a rise out of him faded quickly. “Do you believe the money we gathered will be enough?”

And that was the real question. “If we handle it carefully, and with some bargaining, it should suffice.”

Thor nodded and the conversation ended there. 

Firstly, they went to buy the supplies. In the end it wasn’t that difficult to find the dried up food that would be ideal for a lengthy trip. And the merchant could be easily convinced to sell it to them rather cheaply in the large quantities they needed it. Although by the looks of it, Loki could not vouch for its taste. 

Finding a spaceship though proved to be a bit trickier. The ride to the Statesman proved to be almost as expensive as the spaceship itself. In the end they decided that the investment of an extra spaceship would be worth it. They choose a relatively reasonably priced model, in which the living quarters where crammed but, even if it was uncomfortable to a certain degree, it was ultimately well worth it. 

Having paid for everything, they began loading the supplies in the ship. Loki was not excited at the prospect of being in the dark of the space again, but he wouldn’t miss Cylon much either. It was way too hot and the deserts... if he didn’t hate them already he most certainly did now. And besides, Thor would be there. His heart unclenched a bit at the thought. 

When finally the ship took off the ground, Thor spoke. “Do you not miss the boring days abroad the Statesman, after all of this excitement?”

“You mean to say that council meetings are not exciting enough for you?”

“Not everyone revels in musty papers and lengthy reports, brother.”

“I don’t think I ever enjoyed those things more than you.”

“You certainly were patient enough to sit through them in the past.”

“I am still patient enough to sit through them now.”

“That you are.” The silence stretched for a few minutes, until Thor spoke again. “You do this in the council meetings too.”

“What?”

“Stare into the nothingness with a nervous look on your face.”

“I... I am not ready to talk about it. Not yet.”

A hand reached out to rest on the nape of Loki’s neck. “Alright. But know that I am here. Whenever you need me.” And Loki smiled back, feeling finally safe for the first time in a long while. 


End file.
